Cosmetic Surgery

This is the first in a multiple-part series dedicated to exposing the truth behind cartoon character makeovers — from back alley liposuction to designer boob jobs, and all the juicy tidbits in between.

Over the course of a lengthy investigation, our Dirt Team has uncovered mouthwatering rumors and astonishing, potentially-career-ending accusations about some of the hottest animated stars around and their purported “hand-drawn” good looks. We assembled a panel of the most esteemed and scrupulous plastic surgery experts and asked them this question: Real or Digitally Enhanced?

In our opening stanza, we have decided to focus on one of our most beloved cartoon stars. From her humble beginnings as a cocktail waitress and sometime body double for some of the more modest celebs in Toontown, through her rapid ascent into animated high-society, to her precipitous fall from grace following her husband’s accusation for murder, we admired her innate ability to maintain her sultry, strawberries-and-whipped-cream appeal. But it now appears that she had a little help. These are the cosmetic chronicles of Jessica Rabbit

• Those come-hither LIPS: BOTOX® Cosmetic treatments, Restylane® injections, fat grafts, collagen.
• Those voluptuous BREASTS: breast lift, breast augmentation with saline implants
• That callipygious BOOTY: liposuction, fat grafting, Brazilian butt lift
• That smooth, lustrous SKIN: laser skin resurfacing, microdermabrasion, chemical peels, laser hair removal
• That larger-than-life, curvaceous FIGURE: body lift, bariatric surgery, tummy tuck
• That pouty, yet striking FACE: blepharoplasty, rhinoplasty, chin augmentation with implants, brow lift, laser hair removal, BOTOX®, Restylane® and collagen (dermal fillers), cleft palate reconstruction.

Can you have a nip without a tuck? Can you have a tuck without a nip?

After some strenuous online research I’ve discovered that in plastic surgery jargon these two words truly are inseparable. Occasionally, peanut butter and jelly will take a break from each other, and Regis will have to make do without Kelly every once in awhile.  But outside of Tuck’s brazen attempt to ditch Nip in the phrase “tummy tuck”, there is no tucking without nipping, and vice versa. Each word does describe a different part of the plastic surgery procedure. The “nip” is the actual incision that is made on the body, and the “tuck” refers to the pulling and tightening of the skin. So I would just like to remind the arbitrary punctuators at the FX television network that your dash is very divisive. And just to even things out, might I suggest the new phrase “navel nip”? I think it’s only fair.