Cosmetic Surgery

Not everyone has the cojones or the cash to get plastic surgery, but as the thriving beauty industry indicates, that doesn’t mean people are halting in their quests to fix their features. As plastic surgery becomes more popular, alternatives are springing up, many claiming to provide similar results with less pain and a whole lot less money. Take, for example, the Coco Beautiful New Look of Nose. While an outsider might label this nose clip a glorified plastic clothespin, some Japanese, Korean, or Taiwanese businessman out there has saved thousands of dollars on rhinoplasty surgery by dutifully applying the $7.50 clip to his nose for hours each evening.

For individuals with aging faces who don’t want to shell out big bucks for facelift surgery, there’s always the Facial Flex Facial Exercise and Toning Kit, which allows you to exercise your facial muscles in much the same way as a gasping fish. As one user in the infomercial puts it, “Even if I don’t see any [results] quite yet, I know that something’s happening and I know that I will see something soon.” If one can halt the aging process by placebo effect alone, she’s got it made.

Of course, such desperate measures aren’t unique to our time. Even before the existence of plastic surgery, women especially looked for alternative ways to enhance, reduce, and lift their way to aesthetic glory. The Psycho-Expander was marketed around the turn of the century to “develop neck, chest, and shoulders to striking beauty” by doubling women’s breathing capacity (read: cup size) for “perfect breath control” (man control) by means of a harness strapped around the chest. At some point, a girl’s just got to look at herself, laden with nose clip, mouth wire, and boob harness and have this epiphany: just get the surgery.

Hollywood is full of celebrities who seem preternaturally preserved. Despite careers that are based on the ability to emote, many of today’s famous actresses haven’t been able to pull off a facial expression since the Clinton administration. But stars who think that “aging gracefully” involves BOTOX® injections and a constant look of mild surprise are not the only people in Hollywood going under the knife. Many young actresses and singers who once turned their noses up at plastic surgery are now opting to modify said noses.

Both Cameron Diaz and Ashlee Simpson reportedly had changes of heart concerning plastic surgery, in spite of the fact that they had repeatedly spoken out against it in the past. In fact, mere weeks before Ashlee underwent nose surgery (and if you believe some celebrity gossipers, chin reduction and lip injections), she was featured in an article in Marie Claire encouraging girls to accept body flaws and love themselves. Her dramatic transformation following that article led to criticism from fans. Cameron Diaz, who has broken her nose four times and used to boast that she loved it more each time she broke it, supposedly got a nose job to correct breathing problems. Perhaps these lovely ladies should’ve listened to Ashlee’s 2006 album “Who I Am” and figured it out before they blabbed their views on self acceptance to the press.