The Celution to All of the Problems in the World (Including Hunger and Poverty)
In the realm of cosmetic surgery, this could fall into the category of a “no brainer.” Finally, women can lose weight and have their breasts enlarged all at once. This revolutionary new procedure, fittingly named Celution by its creators, involves minor liposuction of “problem areas” — such as the arms, thighs, and belly – and the transferring of this fatty tissue to an area that can carry more of it, the breasts.
Breast enlargement (sans fat relocation) has been one of the most popular cosmetic procedures over the last two decades. What I find so hard to believe about this procedure isn’t that it provides a new alternative for breast enhancement (which, as we all know, is a good thing); it’s that it took so long for a company to invent a safe, effective way of doing it. We’ve all played with play-dough and silly putty before. The easiest way of changing the shape of an object (let’s say, a clay Anna Nicole Smith figurine) is to take off the part you don’t want and transplant it to a part that needs more bulk.
This same principle can be seen in Celution (which incidentally sounds a little too much like “cellulite” for my tastes.) It makes one wonder if they simply pump the slurry that is extracted in the liposuction part of the procedure directly into the mammary tissue, effectively building a sort of “fat cushion” behind the existing fat in the breast. Kinda makes you think for a second about what’s really important in life.
